Fantasizing About Unhealthy Bodies

“I would sometimes fantasize about going to the gym and working out for a really long time. I wanted people to notice how frail and emaciated I was.”

This is what one client told me about her “ideal” body image when she was deep in her anorexia.

“In my eating disorder, the body that I wanted to have was very, very thin, with no muscle tone. I wanted to be frail.”

We went on to discuss specific body parts, and verbally paint a picture of the body she had hoped to attain. I then asked if she ever daydreamed or fantasized about having that body in social situations. That’s when she began to talk about going to the gym.

“I would imagine going to the gym and working out so long and so hard that I would eventually pass out. People wouldn’t be able to ignore that. I would imagine them gathering around me to help me and someone calling the ambulance.”

For this woman, an exploration of her ideal body and the fantasies associated with it, led us into a deeper understanding of what it was she was really wanting: to be seen, to be nurtured, to be rescued. All of which made perfect sense in the context of her story and family history.

Another single woman I worked with described having two ideal body images. One body she sought after was thin and emaciated, the other curvy and sexual. Which one she fantasized about depended on the context she was in. When thinking about her family she wished for a body that would lead to nurture and care from family members. When in relationships with men she envisioned a body that she thought a man would enjoy and desire.

The Effect of Fashion Magazines

Many are familiar with the research that shows a decrease in self-esteem and greater depression after looking at fashion magazines or other media showing the “thin ideal” . This is often discussed in group therapy and education regarding eating disorders. However, fantasy and the role it plays in an eating disorder is not fully discussed nor explored in therapy. To fully understand body image we must understand the dynamics of fantasy.

One study in particular examined the effect of comparing oneself to images in magazines versus fantasizing about being the person in the magazine. The research found the impact of the two behaviors were different. Comparison led to a decline in body image satisfaction while fantasy led to an increase in positive mood.

Body Image In-Context

When fantasizing, “women associate looking like the thin ideal media image with a wider array of psychological benefits and positive life outcomes, including confidence, happiness, romantic attention and generally having a ‘successful life.’”

Overall, fantasy instructions led participants to feel good in general (positive mood), but not about their body in particular (body dissatisfaction). Conversely, social comparison instructions led participants to feel bad about their bodies (body dissatisfaction), but did not lower their positive mood.

In other words, it’s not the body they want, it is what they imagine the body will give them. They are attempting to meet deeply relational and existential human needs through the avenue of the body—something which can never fully deliver those results.

Important Questions To Address

If you are in recovery from an eating disorder or a professional helping others, it is important to ask specific questions about body image. The answers will provide insight into what fuels the eating disorder.

Get specific in your discussions. Explore what the imagined body would look like.

• Would it be strong and fit, toned and flat?
• Would it be frail?
• Would others notice or would the body provide a way a disappearing?
• Do you long for admiration and respect or do you want to disappear?

The meaning of your fantasy provides an open door to deeper understanding and healing from your eating disorder.

Article Contributed by Travis Stewart, Licensed Professional Counselor and owner of Revision Recovery Coaching