Breaking Through the Stigmas: When You Struggle with the Label of an “Eating disorder”

Contributor: Carrie A. Decker, Naturopathic physician

Although eating disorders are often hidden from friends and family and are classically a very secret or private matter, when others become aware there will often be the struggle with the label of an “eating disorder.” This may be because the symptoms are obvious, or that a once hidden behavior was observed, or because treatment and support was sought.

Whatever the reason, the label can be a difficult thing to deal with. The struggle with eating disordered behavior and seeking recovery is an ongoing challenge on its own, and when others become aware and are curious, concerned, or unfortunately sometimes rude or misunderstanding, recovery can have another level of challenges altogether.

Dealing with Comments and Staring

Everyone has a different experience of this struggle, but there are often common themes. During meals comments can range from the mundane “are you really going to eat that much” to “you really need to eat more” to the obvious staring and watching while you eat. Outside of meals there can be the critiquing of body size and appearance, an unfortunate common practice in society, even outside of eating disorders.

When other people with an eating disorder are also a part of your life this can be better or worse depending on their level of recovery. In some aspects an eating disorder can be competitive, so if your friends in recovery aren’t really recovering their behaviors might be triggering as well, and comments they make or behaviors they engage in may make things more difficult for your own recovery.

Living Outside the Label

Despite these things, there still are things you can do to live outside this label as you continue your walk of recovery. Each of these things may have a role at some time in your recovery, and work for different people differently.

Change Your Environment:

It may be that the setting in which this label exists has aspects that can be altered. Whether this is a school or a friend group or other social network, it may be that this environment can change.

This may mean changing the setting whether it be temporary or a more permanent shift, growing your world to include new activities and interest groups who do not associate you with this “identity,” or even directly addressing the topic of the eating disorder with your companions at times in a way that further distances you from it.

The setting we keep and people we surround ourselves with affects our attitudes, habits, and view of ourselves dramatically. Shifting this setting such that it has a focus aligned with who you want to be can help you to no longer find your greatest identity in the label that once was the most defining thing in your life.

Live Outside the Label/Own it:

Take pride in the fact that you can be in recovery and make choices to heal and to eat. In my recovery this has looked different at different times. I found that as an athlete and menstruating woman I tended towards anemia if I did not have enough protein or iron in my diet, and in fact my body tended to crave meat.

Points of Pride

Getting a third pound burger and eating it all was not uncommon, especially when exercise was higher in the summer. It became a matter of pride that I could eat protein and food in this manner a couple times a day if necessary – yes I could eat that much, and it made me feel satisfied and healthy.

Making Choices for Yourself

At other times as a medical student in a naturopathic medicine program the opposite was true – everyone around me had food restrictions or was eating a special type of diet. I found that again I had to embrace the fact that the choices I made were for myself – I had to chose to eat what felt right for my body rather than restrict gluten, dairy, soy, eggs, corn or engaging in fasting behaviors as the people around me often did.

If people asked why I would do that I had no problem offering what my experience was. In your own life the setting may be different, but the concept is the same – “I can chose recovery, and this is how it looks for me.”

Find an Identity in Other Things that You Care About:

Being labeled as someone with an eating disorder is no more sought after than many other labels. Everyone can remember at least one person from childhood (and even adulthood) who had a label; a long time ago this may have been the classic “four-eyes,” but many other labels based on appearance or other characteristic are common.

No one likes to have a label as it can lead to teasing or stereotypes, and can feel limiting to one’s personal identity. The same is true about being labeled as the person with the eating disorder. Everyone is an individual with many interests, skills, and unique personality, and there are many things beyond these labels that define someone.

It may be that you have interest or skills in art and music, perhaps you have brain for science or math, or maybe you have a great love for animals or taking care of people. Embracing these things and creating a stronger self-identity around them will help the label of an eating disorder to become a smaller part of what you yourself identify with, and with time this label will also become a small fragment of memory for others as well.

When Labels Can Be Positive

Identifying with a label can be helpful in some settings, as it helps to focus and remind people why they are doing the things they do for their recovery. This is an idea that is held in a variety of settings, but those which are best known are the circles of 12-step recovery programs in which one self-identifies as a person who is qualified to be in the group.

This may serve to help build community, it may help to remind people of the importance of constantly seeking recovery and help keep them from returning to the behaviors of their addiction. A label just like a medical diagnosis helps to direct a plan of treatment.

But holding this label for oneself is not always necessary, and there also are opposite opinions amongst people who work as professionals in the field of addiction. And when this label is something that others place upon you it oftentimes is not something that is necessary or helpful, and it is something that you do not have to choose to keep.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

Have you received labels during your struggle and recovery from disordered eating? Have these labels been a help or a hindrance?

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About the Author:

Dr. Carrie Decker is a board-certified naturopathic physician with the North American Board of Naturopathic Examiners, graduating with honors from the National College of Natural Medicine in Portland, Oregon. Dr. Decker works with clients locally in Wisconsin as well as distant regions via telemedicine (Skype or phone) services.

To find out more about Dr. Decker or naturopathic medicine, visit www.BlessedThistle.info or call 608.620.5831.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on July 1st, 2015
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com