Maintaining Long-term Recovery Through Transitional Times in Life

Contributor: Kirsten Haglund, Community Relations Representative for Timberline Knolls and Founder and President of the Kirsten Haglund Foundation

One fact we can all rely on is that change is inevitable. Things never stay one way for long: life, people, circumstances are often in flux, which for some can be liberating, for others, terrifying.

Since change, transitions, peaks and valleys in life are common to all and absolutely certain, for those who find change scary, there is a kind of confidence that can come from expecting change and preparing for it.

Particularly for those who have recovered from an eating disorder, transitions in life, whether for better or for worse, can pose a challenge to remaining strong in recovery. Here are a few guidelines for how to maintain long-term recovery in the midst of the changes that will inevitably arise.

Preparing for Transitions

A transition can be small or large, circumstantially, but the objective scope of the transition might not always correlate with its subjective impact. It all depends on the individual, their triggers, experiences and past challenges. Therefore, for one person, the life transition into college and newfound independence might be emotionally harrowing and difficult; for another, it might not be triggering in the least. The transition for a mother experiencing empty-nest syndrome might bring feelings of loss, grief, dissatisfaction and an urge to control her surroundings. For another, it might bring joy, relief, and newfound love of her partner.

Identify which areas of your heart call for tenderness and care, so that when changes that effect that area arise, you’ll be extra sensitive to the emotional warfare that might ensue during that time. Prepare for transitions that you know will occur, and for the ones you don’t know – have your treatment team in place and reach out for support from family and friends so that the eating disorder does not rear it’s ugly head; it does not have to if you are prepared.

Be Aware of Changing Challenges

As life progresses, people grow, change and develop, gaining maturity but also new sensitivities. Maintaining long-term recovery means accepting that sometimes triggers change. What may have lead to the first disordered eating behaviors in one’s life might not be what could pitch one into a relapse years or decades later.

The benefits of therapy and ongoing support from a treatment team, accountability partners and a faith community are that there is constant awareness of changing challenges, and coming back to humility and careful work on the soul. Recognizing that times of transition can introduce new challenges helps us to be present amidst the struggles life brings, so as not to be overwhelmed by them, but to accept them and work through them in order to grow stronger.

Acceptance of Imperfection in Recovery

Finally, maintaining lifelong recovery does not mean being perfect in recovery. It also does not mean that every day will be perfect, and that changes and challenges will not faze you. Every one struggles with seasons of grief, sorrow, loss, elation, contentment, emptiness, and joy. Recovery doesn’t mean the blunting of emotions. It means the careful experience of the ups and downs of life, which sometimes can be filled with hardship and anxiety. No one is perfect in recovery. It is ok to slip and fall. What matters is how we respond to the fall.

If we hold ourselves to an untenable standard of perfection, we will let despair and discouragement derail recovery for an even longer amount of time, dragging us into the pit. If we recognize that falling down is a part of gaining strength in recovery, we will be able to stand back up with courage, and soldier on. This not only develops strength and character, but serves as a beacon of light and example to others. If we accept the grace of God in the midst of our weakness, we rest in the power of God and not ourselves to gain the most powerful partner in our recovery process.

Maintaining long-term recovery might seem like a struggle at first, especially when times of change and transition arise. But by preparing for change, understanding the nature of the challenges we face, and by accepting imperfection in the recovery process, it is possible and it is glorious.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

Accepting imperfection can be difficult for us, what avenues of support have helped you throughout your recovery journey? Has accepting imperfections impacted your faith? If so, in what ways?

About the author: Kirsten Haglund continues to work as an advocate for greater awareness of eating disorders and resources for care. Since she won the crown of Miss America 2008, she has spoken on numerous college campuses, worked with youth and church groups domestically and abroad, lobbied Congress with the Eating Disorders Coalition, and started her own non-profit, the Kirsten Haglund Foundation, to raise funds and assist families financially in seeking treatment for eating disorders. She is also the Community Relations Specialist for Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on July 24, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com