ED Recovery in College: Allowing Yourself to Make Mistakes

Contributor: Amy M. Klimek, MA, LPC, Eating Disorder Program Coordinator, Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center

In college, we complete one class and move onto another. If we miss a question on a test or do not understand a lecture, we ask for help. At times we may need to study more for one class than the other. A manual on how to complete college perfectly hasn’t been written; the same is true for recovering from an eating disorder.

Recovery Doesn’t Just Stop and Be Done

Recovery is not linear. Mistakes are made. A person healing from an eating disorder doesn’t check recovery off a list, rather continually reflects to re-evaluate the journey.

Recovery is about movement, noticing the changes and shifts that have occurred, not knowing all the answers and giving oneself permission to make mistakes. It is the willingness to face challenges, lean into the discomfort, in order to overcome the pain that is the core of any addiction.

Everyone Has Unique, Individual Struggles

Eating disorder recovery allows errors to be made because, simply put, recovery is not perfect and no one’s recovery is the same. The journey of healing is as individualized as the eating disorder itself. What works for one person may not work for the next.

Faults cannot be measured; what feels devastating to one person may feel small to another. In the face of struggles, it is easy to view them as a failed attempt, and at times, a relapse.

Having empathy for the mistakes made is not giving permission for those oversights to happen again. Instead, having empathy allows the self to heal, while keeping the journey moving forward.

Turning the Attention to Compassion Through Mindfullness

From the lecture in the classroom to the “one day at a time” in recovery, it is the practice of stillness that guides the healing process. Recovery is turning the attention to compassion through mindfulness.

The practice of mindfulness is to notice the present moment experience, having awareness, and creating stillness from it. As the eating disorder races through the thoughts, spinning as if in an uncontrollable storm, mindfulness seems like an impossible task.

Understanding the Feelings of Failure

When focusing on mistakes made and the discomfort they create, it is easy to understand the feelings of failure. Conversely, if you focus on the changes, shifts in recovery are noticed, which can galvanize the feelings of hope.

The act of compassion is allowing you to make wrongs while giving the self-permission to forgive. Sustainable recovery can be found by not dwelling on the “should haves,” “could haves,” or the “last times,” and instead, focusing on the “next times.”

Without compassion for self, it is difficult to do the deep work necessary in recovery.

Have compassion for mistakes. Be present. Notice the changes. Maybe recovery can be about the mishaps as much as making the required changes along the journey.

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About Timberline Knolls:

Located in suburban Chicago, Timberline Knolls is a leading private residential treatment center for females (ages 12 – 65+) with eating disorders, substance abuse, trauma, mood and co-occurring disorders. For more information, call 877.257.9611 today.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

What have you learned in your journey to recovery in regards to forgiving yourself and recovering from mistakes?

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on January 16th, 2015
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com