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Comfort and Encouragement for Parents of a Child Struggling with Anorexia Nervosa
Parents of a child with anorexia nervosa (AN), we see you. We see your fear, your confusion, your anxiety, your strength, and your anger. We see you working your hardest to adapt, learn, support, and stay strong.
The way that you are fighting and pivoting for your child is admirable. Even so, you are likely exhausted. As much as you pour into your child, you need to pour into yourself. When it all becomes too much, consider the following areas to take care of yourself and restore your mental, emotional, and physical energy.
Child’s Anorexia and Your Self-Compassion
With societal pressure on parents to be perfect, self-compassion is something all parents find it difficult to tap into. You are undoubtedly experiencing this tenfold as your child struggles with anorexia, doubting every decision, shaming yourself for perceived “mistakes,” and talking down to yourself about what you don’t know or didn’t do.
None of this is helping you or your child. Practice being more compassionate with yourself by neutrally looking at your situation as if you are on the outside looking in. Then, give yourself compassion and support as you would for a friend.
Remember that you have limitations, and that is okay. You are not expected to do everything, be everything, or know everything.
You are doing the best you can with what you have, and as you know better, you are doing better. Remind yourself daily that that is more than enough.
Self-Care
You may roll your eyes at this overused word and likely have a thought of “when is there time for self-care” or “I’m a parent, I don’t get that luxury.” These beliefs are limiting your ability to restore your body and mind and are unhelpful. Prioritizing yourself as an active member of your child’s anorexia support team means prioritizing that you deserve to be taken care of.
Find out what helps you to release negative and uncomfortable emotions and replenishes positive emotions and thoughts, and make it a point to insert this into your daily routine, even if only for 5 to 10 minutes. While this takes time out of your day, it decreases the chances of you experiencing mental turmoil and burnout.
Self-Accountability
How much time are you spending stressing, researching, and working yourself to exhaustion in an effort to achieve recovery for your child’s anorexia? It is a difficult truth that, no matter how hard you may work and how much time and effort you put in, you cannot earn recovery for your child.
Ultimately, your child must choose recovery for themselves. Allowing yourself to accept this reality will relieve you of the responsibility to achieve recovery for them and allow you to explore ways of supporting them in actively seeing recovery on their own.
There is no doubt that you would do anything for your child, but some things you cannot do for them. You cannot help them overcome anorexia unless you are taking care of yourself. Speak compassionately to yourself and prioritize your self-care in order to support your child’s independent skills for recovery.
About the Author:
Margot Rittenhouse, MS, PLPC, NCC is a therapist who is passionate about providing mental health support to all in need and has worked with clients with substance abuse issues, eating disorders, domestic violence victims, and offenders, and severely mentally ill youth.
As a freelance writer for Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope and a mentor with MentorConnect, Margot is a passionate eating disorder advocate, committed to de-stigmatizing these illnesses while showing support for those struggling through mentoring, writing, and volunteering. Margot has a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective on eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Published March 16, 2021, on EatingDisorderHope.com
Reviewed & Approved on March 16, 2021, by Jacquelyn Ekern MS, LPC
